Shades of Light
by Arimina
Summary: This is a story about what the Marauders were thinking about when they died. Last chapter is McGonagall's thoughts after the war. I wrote this story with a partner IAdoreSnape, so you might also see this on her wall!
1. Chapter 1: James Potter

**A/N: I wrote this with IAdoreSnape. Please R &R! I promise I'll go work on my other stories once I'm done uploading this! I drew the cover and wrote chapter four. IAdoreSnape wrote chapter 1, 2, 3, & 5.**

As I die, I think of Lily and Harry. Of course I was a fool to think I can face Voldemort without a wand.

For a split second, I wonder which one of my secret keepers sold me out to Voldemort. I immediately clear my head of this thought. I trust my friends. They would rather die than betray me.

The Marauders. Only Sirius could have suggested such a name for our group. Remus of course disapproved of the name but loved a little too much to say else. Peter, well, kind of was just grateful to be a part of the group.

As I recall my Hogwarts memories, Snivellus and his greasy hair remind me of particularly unpleasant time. Although hexing him was fun, it broke Sirius's heart when I told him we couldn't hex him because I fancy Lily. I am not exactly proud of the incident near the lake when I hung him in air. Merlin's beard! I'm so grateful Lily forgave me eventually.

All the good times I had at hogwarts pass in front of my eyes, the fun we had in our dorms, me acting stupid in front of Lily, and Quidditch! The only thing I lived for. How I miss the adrenaline in my veins.

Mcgonagall always gave me biscuits. "Have a biscuit, Potter." looking sternly at me in detentions. She will miss me, won't she?

Lily. Our wedding. I want to reach out my hand to pull her close and plant a kiss on her lips. I realised I'm dead.

… And a little bit of light was gone.


	2. Chapter 2: Sirius Black

As I fell behind the veil, I feel a familiar pair of hands supporting me as I fall. James Potter looks the same. His hairs are still messy and he smiles sheepishly at me. "Padfoot, it's been long time."

Long time. Indeed it's been a very long time. My whole life comes flashing back. And then it hits me. I'm happy to be dead. All my life I was hated by my family. My mother's screams fill my mind, "you filthy scumbag, you brought dishonour to Black family!" I distinctly remember the cigarette hole on Black family tree which my dear mother made when I went on to live with Potters. They've been a family that I have always wanted.

Family. How will Harry survive? He has Remus though. The very thought of seeing Remus alone made my heart die a little. He wasn't supposed to be alone in all this. I shouldn't have left him alone.

All those years in Azkaban have made me mad, I admit. But the thought of being proven innocent and getting to live with my Godson and Moony gave him strength. I remember all the time we spent together when James went to chase Lily in Library! I could never express how much I loved him.

I cannot really forget the time when I made elves prepare a feast for Gryffindor common room because Lily said yes to James! Oh boy she really did slap me hard for the kissing poster I put up on the corridor walls and then God knows why she hugged me, almost like sobbing out of gratitude!

I remember James and Peter wearing enchanted badges spelling WolfStar whenever they thought Remus didn't noticed.

I remember the day when I was the best man in James's wedding and it was the best day of my life. When you spend almost half of your life in a prison where the happiness is sucked out of you, the warmth of past keeps you going. My 7 years at Hogwarts were sunshine. I loved, joked, teased and relished my companionship as Marauders.

I'm dead now. I found family in friends I made. I found dedication in the army I joined. Now as I fall behind the veil, there's a smile on my face. Not a tear in sight. Laughing.

.. And a little bit of light was gone.


	3. Chapter 3: Peter Pettigrew

Peter's POV

As I die, a rush of guilt reaches me and then it subsides. I feel my own silver hand strangling myself to death. My life flashes back in front of me as I slowly choke to death.

I remember being sorted into Gryffindor to my own surprise! I was no braveheart. James, Sirius and Remus were the brave ones. I idolised them. When they accepted me a friend, I felt important (more than I have ever felt in my life).

Remus helped me in classes I was bad at. And Sirius, he would make me do pranks on people who would laugh at me. James was protective. He made sure I wasn't bullied in the corridors. And Lily, lovely beautiful soul! Always so kind towards me.

I shiver as I remember the night James and Lily died. I cried. I was ashamed of myself. I've always been ashamed of being a coward. I gave them up to You-Know-Who. He terrifies me even when I am dead! I hate being so weak. You-Know-Who made me do things I never wanted to do. Those 12 murders haunt me everyday of my life. I wish Remus and Sirius knew I wasn't smart enough to plan all that. I wish they knew You-Know-Who Imperiused me.

My life is full of wrong choices I've made. I regret them all. As I look into Harry's green eyes…

...And a little bit of light is gone.


	4. Chapter 4: Remus Lupin

As I died I thought back to my days at school. When everything was so much more simpler.

I am always afraid, because I am a werewolf. I knew everyone around me would be terrified of me if they knew. If they knew they would hate me. Then that fateful day came when I had forgotten to take my potion. James and Peter found me stumbling about the hallways. I was trying to find the exit. I needed to get away from my friends. I didn't want to hurt them. I didn't want to be the monster I knew I was.

"Peter, go get Sirius," James half yelled.

Not Sirius, anybody but Sirius. I finally found the door and went outside James following.

"Remus, We should get you to Madame Pomfrey ," James said.

"N-no," I said, my voice almost failing, "Mo-moon."

It was all I could say before I began to change. Sirius and Peter coming into my view. I knew they would hate me, but I hoped that they would get away. I hoped that they would not be harmed by me. I wasn't going to let the beast win. So for the first time I actually tried to control the beast.

James's POV

I couldn't believe Remus was a werewolf. I couldn't believe he didn't tell me. Sirius stood beside me as we protected Peter. Sirius throws a rock and the werewolf, Remus, goes to check the noise. We slip back inside and wait for the sun to come up. Then we head outside to find Remus.

We find him and place him in his bed, and we head to class.

Remus's POV

*several days later of avoiding*

"Remus!" James yelled after me.

I just kept running. Until a pair of hands caught me and began to hug me. I look up and there is Sirius.

"Let's head back to the dorm, ey?" Sirius says.

We head back and immediately I go to the corner of the room away from the room.

"Remus stop trying to hide," James says.

"Aren't you afraid of me?" I ask

"We could never be afraid of you," Peter says.

"Your being dramatic. You fold your socks, Remus. Forgive me if I'm not trembling at the sight of you," James says

I consider myself grateful for his words. For almost a split second, I thought I was lucky.

"You don't hate me? But,,,I'm a werewolf," I say.

"Remus. See this arm? It's actually shorter than my other arm but you can't really tell. Especially when I twirl like this," James says.

"I'm lactose intolerant," Peter says.

"I'm OBNOXIOUS," Sirius says. I chuckle instantly. They make me feel so normal.

"Werewolves aren't exactly popular. And for all you know, I could be dangerous," I say.

And suddenly I remember every time I've hurt a living soul without meaning to cause harm. I feel self loathing. I look at them again. The feeling subsides.

"Really, Lupin, what part of 'you fold your socks' isn't getting through?" Sirius asks.

*A few years later*

I was alone in an deserted classroom. That was until Lilly Evans walked in. It was turning to night, the night of the full moon. I needed to get away from her, but I knew she wouldn't leave me with the way I was stumbling around.

"Remus, are you ok?" Lilly asks, "Where's James, or Sirius, or Peter?"

"Lilly go," I say.

"Let me take you to Madam Pomfrey," She says.

"Lilly…," I try, "Run!"

Lilly's POV

Remus Lupin began to grow in size. I had read about werewolves. I never thought I'd run into one. Let alone one of my friends being one. I knew I had to get him outside, away from people but how?

Suddenly there was a stag in between Remus and I. Then there was a black dog pulling on my robes. So I followed the dog, a little unwillingly. The next morning Remus avoided me like the plague. I knew I had to talk to him.

Remus's POV

*a few days of avoiding Lilly*

"Remus Lupin," Lilly says, cornering me.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Are you avoiding me?"

I hung my head. There was no way this girl could accept me. I knew it was only a matter of time until I was kicked out. But why would she want to talk to me. Maybe she wanted to warn me to stay away?

"You know what I am Lilly."

"I know, and I don't care."

The look of defiance she gave me almost rivaled the one James gave me when he found out.

"Werewolves are the most dangerous and unpopular species known to wizards."

"Oh I know. I've read all about them. Why don't you come with me? We'll drink tea and talk some more."

So I followed Lilly back to the common area. No one else was there. Did she skip class for me.

"Now I want to know if Sirius, Peter, and James know," Lilly says, "Also is this why they call you moony?"

"They know, and yes," I say.

She sets the tea tray down and we begin to drink.

"You're not afraid?" I ask.

"I'm not going to lie. The day I found I out I was terrified. Not of you, but the werewolf. I had never seen one before. So of course it scared me. But one that dog got me out of there I didn't care that it scared me, because you're my friend," She said.

"But-"

"No buts. Since then I've read more. Does it hurt when you change?"

"Yes."

"I thought so. Here."

She handed me a bar of chocolate. Where she had been hiding it, I don't know.

"I overheard Sirius telling Peter to grab chocolate one night. He said it always cheered you up after a full moon. Now I know why."

"Thank you."

We stood up and she walked closer to me. She hugged me. For the first time since that night I felt safe. She began to cry which made me cry.

"Don't you ever ignore me again Remus Lupin, or I swear I'll hex you," Lilly says.

She let go and went and sat on the couch. Then people began to fill the room she spared a glance when the other Marauders started questioning me.

The happy memories fade and now I picture Tonks and Teddy, how she had been a family for me when I was all alone. I remember reaching out for her hand..

...And a little bit of light was gone.


	5. Chapter 5: Minerva McGonagall

It's been months after the war ended. Hogwarts is reopened. McGonagall sits back at Headmaster chair and thinks about all the loss the war has caused. She starts checking drawers at random until she comes across a letter. It seems old.

 _Dear Minnie,_

 _Hope you're doing well now that we've left school. Lily and Remus send you their regards and well Sirius is looking over me as I write this._

 _Lily and I are getting married. It's a small ceremony and obviously you're invited. Sirius particularly asks you to wear a purple dress (he wants to color coordinate with you). I personally cannot believe how Evans agreed to marry me! Please do come. We miss you._

 _Love,_

 _James_

 _PS- Sirius says that his wedding proposal for you still stands._

She finishes reading it and the truth dawns upon her. Tears fall from her eyes. She thinks about the Marauders- how she watched everyone die, how she misses their mischievousness and how she for God's sake hoped that they would all come back and annoy her with their pranks till death.

She shouldn't have outlived them. She felt the loss as if they were her own children. Had they not been? All those detention hours with James trying to find an escape route, Sirius trying to flirt with her, Remus genuinely being sorry and completing the punishment and well Peter creating more mishaps than help. How did it end so soon? So abruptly. She thought of time travelling and bringing her favourite students back to life. But how stupid it was of her to even have such thoughts.

Albus Dumbledore looks at Mcgonagall from his portrait. She still has the letter in her hands. Dumbledore asks her in a gravely sad voice that he has used just one before, "After all this time, Minerva? You too?"

"Until the end."

...And at that moment, he saw light leave her beautiful eyes, even if she was not dead.


End file.
